Page 144 - Between One and Many The Art and Science of Public Speaking

Chapter 5 Listening 111

Evaluation

Whether we like, dislike, or are neutral about something is a natural conse-
quence of our interpretation of what we hear. It is next to impossible to be com-
pletely objective. Existing attitudes, beliefs, and values fi lter the entire process.
Becoming a better listener, then, begins with simple recognition of the fact that
we are predisposed to use our individual biases to fi lter what we hear.

Responding

Feedback is an inherent part of the communication transaction. How audience
members respond to speakers can be spoken and/or nonverbal. We depend on
such responses, moreover, in the effort to determine whether our audience has
heard, understood, remembered, interpreted, and evaluated what we’ve tried to
communicate. And this brings us back to something we implied earlier. Listen-
ing demands reciprocity between speakers and audiences as they attempt to be-
come better listeners. To know that we’ve been listened to, we must see and hear
a response. To let speakers know we have listened to them, we also must provide
them with an audible and/or visual response to their message. Simply put, the
process of listening is a two-way street.

Obstacles to Listening

In the effort to become a better, more effective listener, we need to confront
some of the main obstacles to listening. Recognition of these obstacles pre-
pares us mentally to embrace the other mental and behavioral skills that make
effective listening possible. Of the many obstacles that potentially interfere with
listening, we begin with misconceptions about the process itself.

Misconceptions

There are four common misconceptions about listening: (1) it’s easy, (2) it’s a
matter of intelligence, (3) it’s no different than reading, and (4) it’s not subject to
advance planning. 5

“It’s Easy to Listen.” Some people think that listening is like breathing—that
we are born competent listeners. Of course, that is just as fallacious as assum-
ing that because we breathe, we all breathe well enough to become professional
singers. Similarly, just because we’ve heard others talk to us all of our lives does
not mean we are effective listeners. Quite the contrary, our complacency about
listening is one of the very things that makes us susceptible to poor listening
habits.

“Smart People Are Natural Born Listeners.” The fact that we are smart
enough to understand what a speaker says doesn’t mean that we will actually
listen to what the speaker hopes to share. Smart people are not immune to the
psychological fi lters that bias how they interpret and evaluate other’s messages.
Smart people may even be quicker to misinterpret a message because they think