Page 31 - Hard Goals

22 HARD Goals

body will abandon his or her goals at the slightest roadblock.
The people who will pursue their goals regardless of the chal-
lenges will answer with something like, “This goal is my pas-
sion, it’s what I’m here to do,” or, “I love my children too much
to not accomplish this,” or even, “What I really care about is
the fi nish line; I’m totally pumped to get to the payoff.”
But when people say, “My boss/spouse/doctor/chairman is
the one who really cares about this goal,” or, “I’m doing it only
because I have to,” all signs point to the negative. It’s right there
in their words: these people lack any real emotional connection
to their goals; the goals are not heartfelt. In fact, emotionally,
such a goal is not even really that person’s goal; it belongs to
somebody else.
When you ask someone this question (and I encourage you to
test it out for yourself), listen to the proper nouns and pronouns
you get in response. If ownership of the goal is taken with a me,
mine, my, or I, even though the goal may have originated with
someone else, it’s a strong sign that person will see that goal
through to the end, no matter what gets thrown in the way.
But if the person mentally assigns ownership of the goal to
a boss, spouse, doctor, chairman, or whomever, which you’ll
hear in words like his, hers, the company’s, my teacher, or the
boss, then you know the person is just not feeling connected to
the goal. You can also listen for the emotional words that are
said (for example, pumped, excited, can’t wait, fi red up, and
so forth). Expressing intense feelings usually portends better
results than emotional detachment does. Just remember, nobody
ever washed a rental car (which means that if you don’t own it,
you’re not going to put much effort into it).
You’d do just about anything for the people you love—
your kids, spouse, best friend, family, signifi cant other, and