Page 39 - Hard Goals

30 HARD Goals

not sure exactly why their heartfelt connection is waning, and
they’re even less sure how to address the problem.
So the fi rst thing you have to do is diagnose your own Shoves
and Tugs. And to do that, you just need to answer two simple
questions:

• Describe a time recently (in the past few weeks or
months, or even a year) when you felt really frustrated
or emotionally burned out or like you wanted to chuck
it all and give up.
• Describe a time recently (in the past few weeks or
months, or even a year) when you felt really motivated or
excited or like you were totally fi red up and unstoppable.

You’ll notice that these questions are not asked in the abstract.
That’s because I’m not looking for things that might derail my
goals. I’m looking for the things that actually are derailing my
goals (and the more recent your examples, the better). If I ask
for a hypothetical list of what I “imagine” will derail my goals,
I’ll get a hypothetical list, and that’s not exactly a whole lot of
help. It’s not typical behavior to abandon a goal because of a
Shove that hasn’t yet happened and might not ever happen. But
lots of people will quit their goals because of a Shove they’re
experiencing this week.
Once you’ve discovered the kinds of factors and situations
that add to or detract from your heartfelt connection to your
goals, you can choose goals more suited to your intrinsic drives.
People who are always looking for that next adrenaline rush
might be Shoved by goals that aren’t exciting or unique enough.
People who love solving really tough problems might be get-
ting Tugs from attempting a goal that their friends told them
couldn’t be achieved.