Page 95 - Morgan Housel - The Psychology of Money_ Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness-Harriman House Limited (2020)

The best part of being a valet is getting to drive some of the coolest cars to
COBACOBA
ever touch pavement. Guests came in driving Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Rolls-
Royces—the whole aristocratic fleet.

It was my dream to have one of these cars of my own, because (I thought)
they sent such a strong signal to others that you made it. You’re smart.

You’re rich. You have taste. You’re important. Look at me.

The irony is that I rarely if ever looked at them, the drivers.

When you see someone driving a nice car, you rarely think, “Wow, the guy
driving that car is cool.” Instead, you think, “Wow, if I had that car people
would think I’m cool.” Subconscious or not, this is how people think.

There is a paradox here: people tend to want wealth to signal to others that
they should be liked and admired. But in reality those other people often
bypass admiring you, not because they don’t think wealth is admirable, but
because they use your wealth as a benchmark for their own desire to be

liked and admired.

The letter I wrote after my son was born said, “You might think you want
an expensive car, a fancy watch, and a huge house. But I’m telling you, you
don’t. What you want is respect and admiration from other people, and you
think having expensive stuff will bring it. It almost never does—especially
from the people you want to respect and admire you.”

I learned that as a valet, when I began thinking about all the people driving
up to the hotel in their Ferraris, watching me gawk. People must gawk

everywhere they went, and I’m sure they loved it. I’m sure they felt
admired.

But did they know I did not care about them, or even notice them? Did they
know I was only gawking at the car, and imagining myself in the driver’s
seat?

Did they buy a Ferrari thinking it would bring them admiration without
realizing that I—and likely most others—who are impressed with the car