Page 346 - The Creative Training Idea Book Inspired Tips and Techniques for Engaging and Effective Learning

lucas chap 09 11/20/02 1:02 PM Page 335
Keeping the Communication Flowing 335
“Well, what are MJ (my wife) and I going to eat?” I sort of laughed and said, “I don’t
know mom, I only want one potato. If you two want a potato, then feel free to fix
them.” It occurred to me at that moment that we had just experienced the type of com-
munication breakdown that often occurs in classrooms when trainers ask the wrong
type of question. They do not get the information needed or expected, more questions
are required, time is wasted, and frustration can result. My mom wanted to know how
many potatoes to fix for dinner, but she did not ask that. I responded only to the closed-
ended questions she asked and, as a result, we were both frustrated.
In your training sessions, questions are an excellent tool to give yourself a break from
speaking while involving learners. Through effective questioning, you can gauge partic-
ipant understanding of a point made, determine interest and willingness to participate,
and elicit ideas, issues, or solutions.
I have found that the most effective way to keep communication relaxed and more
informal is to ask more open-ended questions (e.g., when, where, how, why, what, or
to what degree). Such questions often stimulate and nonverbally let participants know
that I want more than a short answer. To verify, validate, confirm, reinforce, or gain
commitment, I also use closed-ended questions (e.g., generate short answer, one-syllable
responses such as yes/no, a number, or name). The challenge created by closed-ended
questions is that I do most of the talking and get little information. This is the reason I
use them carefully.
One question that I have found to create some degree of irritation starts with the
question “Why?” There is no way to inflect that word and make it sound friendly. Try it.
No matter how you try, the word sounds harsh and abrasive. I often relate the reason
for potential irritated reactions to the “Why” question as being learned behavior from
childhood. To understand what I mean, think about the times when, as a child, your
caregivers restricted you from an activity when you asked permission. Following their
response, you likely responded like most other children (including your caregivers when
they were young) and asked “Why?” Your caregivers probably heard this as a challenge
in a whiney, high-pitched voice. And, they (like thousands of other caregivers before
them) likely responded, “Because I said so and I’m the mommy/daddy (or whatever).”
For this reason, when your adult learners hear your question “Why?” in response to
something they said, they hear their own whiny challenge and resent it just as their
caregivers probably did. The potential logic is that they are now adults and should have
authority (of a caregiver) and should not be challenged in their thinking. This psycho-
logical memory might actually create a barrier to effective communication in your
classroom. For that reason, I encourage you to rephrase a question such as “Why do you
say that?” to “What causes you to believe that is true?” The same question is posed using
different words and inflection, and I believe a potential psychological minefield can be
avoided.
Here is a good questioning technique that I learned from a wise former boss and
friend, Leon Met. He suggested that there are two ways to ask a question. Each can get
a different response or cause different emotional reactions.