Page 117 - An Indispensible Resource for Being a Credible Activist

Consider taking a personal day, vacation day, or lunch hour to meet with an
employment lawyer or talk to one on the phone. You may want to fax, e-mail, or
postal mail a description of your situation to the attorney first and ask that he or
she discuss it with you over the phone to minimize your time away from the office.

THINGS YOU CAN DO TO TURN BEING/FEELING
DEVALUED AS HR INTO A LEARNING EXPERIENCE

Make a list of meetings, decisions, or trainings you have not been included in that
you either normally would have been included in or that you believe you should
have been included in based on your role, your written job description, and/or any
recommendations or issues you may have made or raised.
Try to learn why this is happening by talking to your supervisor or trusted
colleagues and openly noting that you’ve observed that you’ve been or felt
excluded and you are wondering why this might be.
If you do get feedback from your supervisor or a colleague regarding something
you did or said that might be contributing to this situation, meet with your
supervisor and honestly discuss these issues and assertively state that you would
like to know if there is anything he or she would like you to work on improving.
Also, notice if anyone else’s similar errors or actions are being responded to in this
way or if you are receiving disparate treatment. If you are receiving disparate
treatment, do try to learn why, document it, and address it in a memo.
If your sense is that you find yourself in this situation not because of anything you
have done but because of a leadership change or a colleague with more company
power than you have (who either devalues HR in general or who has some personal
issue with you), consider using as many diplomatic skills as you possibly can.
Diplomacy skills for this situation include using NVC, EI, and sound conflict
resolution skills.
Used with permission from Thom Bond of the New York Center for Nonviolent Communication SM .

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Being able to check in with yourself and then give yourself “self-empathy” as well as
get empathy and support as you go through this from good sources such as an NVC
practice group, a good friend, a close family member, other HR professionals,
or a therapist.
Being able to focus on the other person’s feelings and needs even if they are
behaving with extreme unpleasantness towards you.
Wanting to learn what the other person’s feelings and needs are and being positively
and empathically responsive to them as much as you are able.

100 The H R Toolkit