Page 45 - Twenty Four Lessons for Mastering Your New Role

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Muzzling your mouth works especially well when you want to
calm frayed nerves—your own or someone else’s! Silence gives every-
one a chance to reflect on the situation, rather than inflame it fur-
ther by making emotionally charged comments.
Another danger of over-talking is that you can bore listeners.
Restless employees may no longer heed your directives if you tend to
babble. They may start daydreaming the minute you launch into
your remarks, thus missing critical pieces of information that you
want them to understand.
When you feel the urge to talk, ask yourself if it can wait. Purse
your lips shut, breathe evenly and listen.
To tap the power of silence:
Apply the 80/20 rule: In one-on-one conversations, try to listen for
80 percent of the time and limit your speaking to the remaining 20
percent. That requires asking questions to get others to open up.
Stop after you ask a question: When you pose a question, stop.
Wait for an answer. If you do not get a prompt response, don’t rush
to answer your own question or skip it and raise another topic.
Waiting in silence for five or 10 seconds may seem like an eternity,
but it’s sometimes the only way to learn what others think.
Let people vent: When someone’s angry or agitated and needs to
blow off steam, keep quiet. Saying “Calm down” or “I understand”
too often will only make matters worse. (The person may reply, “I am
calm!” or “No, you don’t understand!”)

“Listen long enough and the person will generally come
up with an adequate solution.”
—Mary Kay Ash

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