Page 66 - The Voice of Authority

Mr. Fox: Not at all. I just wanted you to know how
hard it was.

For the most part, even when people want to know “how
hard it was,” they prefer that you tell them in plain English.

Phoniness/Insincerity
If you’re inviting me to your wedding, I expect to read: “Mr.
and Mrs. Dominique Patel request the honor of your pres-
ence at the marriage of their
daughter, Christy Leigh, to
People will frighten you Mr. Perry Tubaine, on the
9th of September at four
about a graduation.
o’clock in the afternoon.”
They use words you don’t
But I don’t expect to
hear often. “And we wish
read such syntax and for-
you Godspeed.” It is a
mality in an e-mail inviting
warning, Godspeed. It
me to the departmental
means you are no longer planning meeting where
welcome here at these we’ll discuss “strategic ini-
prices. tiatives designed to en-
—Bill Cosby hance our capabilities to
respond to opportunities
afforded us to increase vis-
ibility both within the parameters of assigned roles and
outside the targeted functional areas of future growth.”
Such language rings false.

Ignorance on a Subject

If you don’t know what you’re talking about but can say it
with enough buzzwords, maybe nobody will be able to fol-
low your explanation long enough to ask any questions. A

54 The Voice of Authority