Page 86 - The Voice of Authority

so I slid inside––as did my husband, who was traveling
with me.
The man climbed into the front seat and drove us to the
hotel in almost total silence—except to tell us what time
he would be picking us up for dinner. At dinner, when he
alone was our host, we realized that he must be the client,
not a driver. Still, we wondered why he had been talkative
(although not completely understandable in his broken
English) inside the airport and had grown suddenly quiet
during our ride to the hotel.
It took about three days for him to “warm up” to us.
When I questioned the third-party sponsor about the icy
reception, here’s what he told us: “He thought you were
showing him disrespect. He opened the back door of his
car for you to ride there because women here always ride
in the backseat. He intended for your husband to ride in
the front seat with him. When your husband slid into the
backseat with you, he felt insulted—that you were treating
him like a driver.”
The context determined the message. That was many
years and miles of international travel ago. I’ve become a
little wiser and much more sensitive in checking out such
situations beforehand.
Although the American culture is considered a low-
context culture, some people here still remain clueless
about nonverbal messages that overshadow their words.
On consulting assignments, I’ve watched people walk
into an executive boardroom to make a presentation, get
an icy reception, and walk out with no idea of why the
group did not sign off on their project. The reason may
have been a cocky attitude conveyed through their posture,
a laid-back attitude that showed in their lack of prepara-
tion, their disrespect shown through dress, or their irrita-
tion piqued in response to questions.

74 The Voice of Authority