Page 142 - Appreciative Leadership

The Genius of Inclusion 115

often think out loud—an act that helps them recognize what’s impor-

tant to them and make decisions. When asked their opinion about a

situation, they may offer a quick, unstudied reply. Introverts, on the

other hand, often prefer to reflect before talking. As a result, they may
not be as quick to respond, or they may wait to be asked before they
share their ideas. These are conversational preferences that apprecia-

tive leaders consider and balance in order to unleash the full potential
of a group.
To ensure that everyone—introverts and extraverts alike—gets a
turn to talk, we suggest you facilitate taking turns talking. It is a con-
versational discipline that takes practice and patience. Here is how
you do it. You raise an issue, a topic, or a decision for consideration.

Then tell people that you want to hear everyone’s thoughts and feel-
ings on the subject so you are going to practice taking turns talking.
Everyone must say something when it is his or her turn, even if it is
simply, “Pass.” No one speaks a second time until everyone has spo-
ken once. The practice is generally appreciated by three fourths of the

people in the room. The others may feel that it slows things down—

until they truly begin to listen. And then they too will experience the

benefit of taking turns talking.
A tool that can be used to encourage people to take turns talk-
ing is a talking stick—a ceremonial object used for centuries by Native
5
Americans “as a means of just and impartial hearing.” When impor-
tant matters are being discussed, a talking stick is used to signal whose
turn it is to talk. It is passed from one person to the next, endowing
the holder with the right to speak and be heard. We have used talk-
ing sticks in a wide range of group settings from government leaders
to women religious leaders to executives to nurses. In each case, the
participants found the talking stick to be a valuable tool for positively
including everyone in important and even contentious conversations.

Right- or Left-Brain Dominance

A second signifi cant difference in conversational and work styles

can be attributed to right- or left-brain preferences, also known as

hemispheric dominance. Th e left side of the brain, which is the seat