Page 137 - Appreciative Leadership

110 Appreciative Leadership

forward together. It takes courage to reach out and help others feel
welcomed and valued.
Diana showed such courage a few years ago. As an honored guest
in India, she was invited to give a speech at a large private school in
New Delhi. Everyone in the school was invited to attend her presenta-

tion on Appreciative Inquiry. There were students, faculty, adminis-

trators, parents, and school staff in the room. Many were seated; some
were standing in the back of the room. Knowing that people of dif-
ferent castes still do not interact easily with one another in India, she
took a deep breath and invited those standing to find a comfortable

seat. She pointed to empty seats at the tables in the front of the room.
Fortunately, the values of the school, its students, and their parents

were in alignment. They looked around and with open arms waved to
those standing to come and sit with them.
Each and every one of us has an Other: a person or group of peo-
ple whom we neither like nor trust—whose values or lifestyle choices

we find disagreeable. We may even go so far as to attribute that which

we find undesirable in the world to them. At work, people blame the
Others for things that go wrong. In society people avoid them or speak
out against them. Some people have little or no direct experience with
their Others, and yet they see them as unworthy or inadequate. Th eir
prejudice is deeply institutionalized.
Some people, however, do know their Others, having had a nega-
tive or even traumatic experience with them at some time in their
past. Such was the case when citizens in postapartheid South Africa
gathered to create a new future. An Afrikaner police offi cer part-
nered in dialogue with a black woman who had been both abused and
imprisoned by the police. As the woman shared her story, her partner
became visibly agitated—then began to cry. He acknowledged that he
had carried out the same kinds of actions that had so harmed her. He
asked for forgiveness—which she gave. In the end, they chose to work

together on a project to rebuild their city and to offer others the same
kind of healing experience that they had shared.
Such was the case when groups of Palestinian and Israeli women—
all of whom had lost children in the conflict—came together to forge

relationships and work for peace. They began by sharing their stories, by