Page 136 - Appreciative Leadership

The Genius of Inclusion 109

practice of partnering in improbable pairs creates an opportunity for
people to share their stories and be heard by another person—their

partner. When this happens, everyone feels affirmed and valued. In

return, they affirm and value their partner and what they have in com-

mon. This in turn, nurtures their relationship and sets the stage for

future collaboration. Such an improbable pair bonded during a stra-
tegic planning meeting in a northern Colorado community, where a
retired Japanese-American businessman and a 15-year-old Hispanic
girl chose each other as interview partners because they looked so
different from one another: he in a smart dark suit, and she in faded

denim, stylishly torn in the teenage fashion of day. As they spoke of
their vision for the city that brought them together, he told her about
his life growing up in Japan, moving to the United States and building
his business. She talked of her family, love of learning, and her dream
to go to college one day.

Despite their differences, they forged a meaningful connection
over the course of their 40-minute conversation. When the meeting
ended, they stayed in touch. A few years later, with the permission
of her family, the businessman sponsored the young woman’s college
education, citing it as one of the best investments he had ever made.
We have come to call this the paradox of improbable pairs. When
we meet and sincerely seek to know another person who is diff erent
from us, we discover that we have much in common. Sincere inclu-
sion builds trust, fosters respect, and enables us to recognize that we
are all related in deep and meaningful ways.

Reaching out to the “Other”

Acts of inclusion can build bridges and heal relationships—at work,
in families, and in society. When you reach out to people, you con-
sider to be on “the other side”—your opponents, your competition,
or even your oppressors—you create a pathway for reconciliation.
Appreciative Leadership is dedicated to a world that works for all.
It practices reaching out to the “Other” with deep listening, com-
passion, apologies and forgiveness, and a sincere willingness to go