Page 135 - Appreciative Leadership

108 Appreciative Leadership

The many ways you can deepen existing relationships include
team-building processes, face-to-face meetings, appreciative inter-
views, honest sharing of hopes and dreams, peer coaching, shared
leadership of a project or event, volunteering together for a worthy
cause, and spending social time together. Any practice that fosters sin-
cere listening will foster compassion and mutual respect, strengthen
the bond of trust, and deepen the quality of your relationships—at
work and in your personal life.

Improbable Pairs

Creating venues for conversation among improbable pairs is a great
way to foster and deepen relationships and build respect and trust
among people at work. This notion comes from the process of Appre-

ciative Inquiry. It refers to the practice of inviting people who don’t
know each other, or don’t know each other well enough, to come
together for an appreciative interview. It is a way of building bridges
among people who see themselves as quite different and yet have some

important reason for collaboration.

The practice is quite simple. First, ask members of your staff or

team to choose a person in the group who is different from them. Tell
them to select someone they don’t know well, they don’t work with
regularly, and who is in some way very different from themselves.

They may be different ages, genders, or cultures. They may work in

different functions or have different educational backgrounds or areas

of authority. Let them choose a partner based on whatever they believe

are the greatest areas of difference. Second, give them a list of three to
four appreciative questions, and tell them to take 20 to 30 minutes

each interviewing one another. Third, following the interviews, ask
them to share comments about their experiences in the interview pro-
cess. The results will astound you as they have us. Time and time again

when we ask people to partner up in improbable pairs, they discover
and report on how much they have in common.
Positive dialogue among improbable pairs heightens people’s
appreciation for one another and builds a shared sense of identity. Th e