Page 94 - Communication in Organizations Basic Skills and Conversation Models

Breaking bad news 83

The deliverer of the bad news may waffle vaguely: ‘Yeah, uh, we have thought about this
question long and hard and…uh…we have really looked at it from all angles…but
uh…In truth your plan has little chance of succeeding.’ All this beating about the bush is
highly likely to irritate the other person.

Giving detailed arguments
Giving an overly long explanation in the first phase of the conversation is not useful. This
is due to the fact that the other has just heard the bad news and is too emotional for a long
explanation. Usually only a small fraction of the conversation is retained because of the
numbed reaction that often follows the reception of bad news.

Phase 2: How to deal with reactions

As previously mentioned, the other party will in the first instance often react emotionally
to the bad news. The differences in emotional reactions between people can vary greatly.
One person may stare at you fixedly, turn pale and stay quiet; another may immediately
react strongly and threaten to appeal against the decision. Below is a summary of the
most common emotions and behaviours.

1 Shock. When bad news comes unexpectedly, the recipient often reacts first with shock
and confusion. ‘What? How is that possible!?’ Sometimes people are literally struck
dumb and do not know how they should react.
2 Aggression. As a consequence of the frustration that the bad news brings about, the
other may become angry. This anger can take the form of light irritation and curt
reactions, but can also manifest as open rage.
3 Disbelief. The other person may ask questions like: ‘How is it possible? I have done my
very best to finish off the project within the set deadlines, haven’t I?’
4 Arousing the sympathy of the deliverer. Some people can consciously or
subconsciously take such a position that the deliverer of the bad news starts to feel
guilty. These people do not kick up a fuss, but portray themselves as meek and
sorrowful.
5 Perseverance. This means that people constantly react in the same way, like a broken
record player: ‘Oh, how that disappoints me…Yes, that really does disappoint me’ and
so on.
The goal of the deliverer of bad news in this second phase is to give the other person the
opportunity to react and to deal with the emotional reactions as well as possible. First, the
deliverer must listen attentively to the reactions. Second, he can ‘deal with the emotional
reaction’ by expressing understanding and remaining calm and serious. To express under-
standing one can make use of such conversational skills as paraphrasing of content and
reflection of feeling (see p. 17). Especially with bad news, where the emotional reactions
can be very strong, it is important to use an appropriate intensity of expression when
reflecting feelings: