Page 80 - Confronting Race Women and Indians on the Frontier, 1815 - 1915

C H APTER Two

to wed. When ice floes prevented the minister they asked to meet their
boat f r om reaching them, the couple kneeled on the deck so the shore­
bound minister could marry them.73
Europeans were similarly aghast that f r ontier courtships in general
proceeded rapidly. According to Pulszky, a pioneer man simply paid a
few taciturn calls to a neighbor's eligible daughter, during which he
"places himself in a chair before the chimney , chews, spits in the fire."
Within weeks, the suitor offered an equally taciturn proposal of
marriage.74 A German traveler of the 1 8 50S also described suitors as
"abrupt ; having "no time to beat around the bush." Pulszky added that
"
a swain met a girl in a shop, the theater, at a ball, or in her parents'
home. "He needs a wife, thinks this one will do. He asks the question,
she answers. The next day they are married and then proceed to inform
the parents."75
Europeans objected not just to the lack offormality, but insightfully
pointed to a number of negative results that would ensue. Among these
were the breakdown of the f a mily as a result of the early departure of
the children to f o rm their own f a mily units and a rising divorce rate.76
Many believed that the greatest underlying ill was the increased power
that accrued to wives, who expected their husbands to be extremely
affable.As one young western woman quipped in 1876, "ifhe don't there's
plenty will."77Worse yet, a husband could go nowhere without his wife,
the American Settler reported in 1 8 9 2.78 Furthermore, such wives pur­
portedly refused to do barn work, legally protected their property before
marriage, and even ordered servants to flog errant husbands.79 If women
were displeased with the course of their marriage, they reportedly sought
divorce with little hesitation. As early as 1 8 30, English traveler Simon
O'Ferrall noted that three divorces were granted during his brief stay in
Marion, Ohio.All three were initiated by women: one f o r desertion, one
f o r physical abuse, and one f o r general neglect. O'Ferrall added that a
woman was seldom refused a divorce in the West because her dislike of
a husband constituted a sufficient reason fo r granting her fr eedom. 8 0
Stories of outrageous wifely misbehavior caused many immigrants
to conclude that western women were so spoiled that a proper wife could
be f o und only by importing one. 81 This reputation f o r brattiness was per­
haps undeserved; when critics turned their attention to f r ontierswomen's

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