Page 172 - Creating Spiritual and Psychological Resilience

Collaboration in Working With Children Affected by Disaster 141

To illustrate, I describe my own work collaborating with other colleagues
as we helped one such company. After the terrorist attacks on September
11, an organizational consultant began working with a company that had
been located in the World Trade Center and organized a small team of
mental health professionals to join him. A year later, the group broadened
its focus to include the families of employees who had been killed, and
I joined the collaborative project to add to the ability to respond to the
needs of children. I made home visits all over the greater New York area to
bereaved parents and children who had been identified as particularly in
need. The parent (usually a mother) let the children know that my presence
was important, and I found that I had as much of the kids’ attention as pos-
sible. My presence usually created an atmosphere similar to that brought
by a nurse coming into a room where someone is sick, bringing fresh air
and matter-of-fact answers. I also brought hope and rekindled the process
of mourning, insofar as I evoked images of the lost parent.
We also sponsored retreats, community-based day-long workshops and
information sessions, working with other companies who wanted to sup-
port the families from this company. Offering this kind of support had a
mixed appeal; some parents welcomed it and some rejected it. There were
no fees paid because the collaborative group was supported by a founda-
tion created for this purpose by and for the company that had been so
damaged on 9/11. There was often a personal kind of guilt that the profes-
sional felt when the relationship ended because it was the professional who
had started the relationship and urged the parent (usually a mother) or
child to open up. Reaching out may also have kept the surviving parents
in a passive and dependent role, compared to the more common activity
involved when a client seeks out a professional.
We arranged three annual weekend retreats. These retreats were for
families who had lost a parent, including surviving spouses and chil-
dren of all ages. One third of the families in this category accepted our
invitation. Others were interested and unavailable that weekend, while
others did not want to attend. We chose a place that afforded childcare,
recreation, and meeting rooms. We wanted to allow time for families to
be together and to be on their own; to let children be with other children
who shared their experience to reduce isolation; and to let parents meet
together for support as single parents, for help with grief and mourn-
ing, and for company with other parents who also went through the
disaster.