Page 109 - Cultures and Organizations

I, We, and They 91

will call these societies collectivist, using a word that to some readers may
have political connotations, but the word is not meant here in any politi-
cal sense. It does not refer to the power of the state over the individual; it

refers to the power of the group. The first group in our lives is always the
family into which we are born. Family structures, however, differ among
societies. In most collectivist societies, the “family” within which the child
grows up consists of a number of people living closely together: not just
the parents and other children but also, for example, grandparents, uncles,
aunts, servants, or other housemates. This is known in cultural anthropol-
ogy as the extended family. When children grow up, they learn to think
of themselves as part of a “we” group, a relationship that is not voluntary
but is instead given by nature. The “we” group is distinct from other
people in society who belong to “they” groups, of which there are many.
The “we” group (or in-group) is the major source of one’s identity and the
only secure protection one has against the hardships of life. Therefore,
one owes lifelong loyalty to one’s in-group, and breaking this loyalty is
one of the worst things a person can do. Between the person and the in-
group, a mutual dependence relationship develops that is both practical
and psychological.
A minority of people in our world live in societies in which the inter-
ests of the individual prevail over the interests of the group, societies that
we will call individualist. In these, most children are born into families
consisting of two parents and, possibly, other children; in some societies
there is an increasing share of one-parent families. Other relatives live
elsewhere and are rarely seen. This type is the nuclear family (from the
Latin nucleus, meaning “core”). Children from such families, as they grow
up, soon learn to think of themselves as “I.” This “I,” their personal iden-
tity, is distinct from other people’s “I”s, and these others are classifi ed not

according to their group membership but instead according to individual
characteristics. Playmates, for example, are chosen on the basis of personal
preferences. The purpose of education is to enable children to stand on
their own feet. Children are expected to leave the parental home as soon as
this has been achieved. Not infrequently, children, after having left home,
reduce relationships with their parents to a minimum or break them off
alto gether. Neither practically nor psychologically is the healthy person in
this type of society supposed to be dependent on a group.