Page 59 - Fearless Leadership

46 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

extremely hard, it was insulting and frustrating to see people who did not
perform or deliver results remain in key positions. What Gwen thought
was “being nice” was actually “being ineffective.” Due to Gwen’s lack of
decisiveness and straight talk, the company was unsuccessful in launch-
ing a major initiative.
Change initiatives lose all credibility when the people leading them do
not demonstrate the change they are attempting to bring into existence.
Ironically, one of the core competencies identified for high-potential
leaders was the willingness and ability to have difficult conversations. The
lesson learned here is that whatever you want to change in others, you must
model it first as the leader.

The Impact of Avoiding Difficult Conversations. If you avoid difficult
conversations and are not direct with others, you are not doing anyone a
favor. People are more troubled and disturbed when you do not talk
straight than they are by the prospect of being hurt by what you have to
say. How do you want others to communicate with you? Do you want peo-
ple to beat around the bush and send an ambiguous and implied message,
or do you want them to honestly tell you what is on their mind? If you
chose the latter, then you need to apply the same rule to others and talk
straight responsibly—with an emphasis on the word “responsibly.”
When you avoid tough conversations, you leave people with an uneasy
and unsettled feeling. Because they never know where you stand, they are
wary and stop trusting you. They deal with a constant state of misdirected
attention and fixate on you, at the expense of business needs. Your behav-
ior is a primary contributor to high levels of underperformance.
Bottling things up, harboring resentments, and not responsibly express-
ing your concerns and feelings sends a message. Just because you are not
using words, you are still communicating with your behavior. People inter-
pret your actions and make up their own meaning. And you can expect
people to make up the worst. (In Chapter 8, we discuss how to be emo-
tionally honest and talk straight responsibly.)

Blind Spot 5: Blaming Others or Circumstances
Pointing the finger at others is much easier than taking accountability.
Leaders deflect, rotate the discussion, and focus the spotlight on what is