Page 58 - Fearless Leadership

The Blind Spots That Derail Leaders 45

Symptoms of Avoiding Difficult Conversations
• Withholding how you think and feel
• Softening the message and not communicating your real concern
• Making it difficult for others to talk with you about sensitive issues
• Staying on the surface of issues and not allowing the conversa-
tion to go deeper
• Avoiding discussions that could evoke an emotional response

If you cannot talk about it, you cannot resolve it. When leaders avoid
tough conversations, problems remain unresolved. Poor performance
continues, less than acceptable products and services are produced, and
morale plummets. Being polite and not wanting to hurt another’s feelings
are the common excuses used for not talking straight responsibly. When
leaders soften the message, the other party walks away confused.
Gwen, a director of organizational development, was afraid of hurting
people’s feelings, and as a result, she was not completely honest, particu-
larly when it came to delivering bad news. Two key people on her team
were not performing up to standard, and in two years, she had not taken
decisive action.
We had an opportunity to watch how Gwen handled a conversation
with one of the key people in question: “This is a high-profile project, and
I want to make sure others see the great work you and your team are doing.
Perhaps there is something you need from me, or some way I can help
you.” Her direct report interpreted this message as an offer to help, not a
statement about something he needed to address and correct. He
responded to what he heard and said, “Thanks, Gwen. If we run into a
challenge, you’ll be the first person I call.”
Mission not accomplished. Gwen did what many others do: she did not
talk straight. Her unwillingness to be direct and responsible in her com-
munication left her reports with inadequate information to address per-
formance issues, and they had no opportunity to turn them around.
Gwen’s lack of straight talk perpetuated the lack of results in her area.
People were highly frustrated with how she allowed inconsistent standards
of performance to continue being the status quo. For those who worked