Page 53 - Fearless Leadership

40 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

their attention off of business needs and focus on what is happening
to you.
Because you are not focusing externally on others, your ability to pick
up cues about their needs and reactions is greatly diminished. You miss
how upset and frustrated those around you are. Consistent with the behav-
ior of going it alone, you reject offers of help and support. This sends a
message that says “back off.” People try to reach you, but after a while they
give up. In all of this, business results suffer: high levels of anxiety and
uncertainty destabilize the team and organization.
When you exclude others, they fill in the blanks. Your behavior
communicates, “I do not need you to think, take action, or lead. I am
handling everything myself.” (In Chapter 6, we discuss how to over-
come the behavior of going it alone through building committed part-
nerships.)

Blind Spot 2: Being Insensitive to Your
Impact on Others

Leaders who are insensitive to their impact on others do not have a clear
understanding of how they come across. They miss completely how their
choice of words, tone of voice, and nonverbal behavior sends a message
of disapproval and dissatisfaction. Because they have a low threshold for
picking up on the reactions of others, they make blunders they cannot see,
therefore cannot correct.
When leaders are insensitive to their impact on others, one of two things
is occurring: (1) they are unaware of their emotional impact or (2) they
recognize their impact but do not care. In our years of experience, we have
found that the great majority of leaders care a lot. If you have this blind
spot, it is most likely rooted in your inability to read, understand, and
respond appropriately to the cues of others, not in callous and coldhearted
views.
In a group, insensitivity to others leads to team dysfunction. Individuals
are self-absorbed and drive their personal agenda at the expense of others.
A team will spend an inordinate amount of time arguing and posturing.
Dissension takes over, and a few vocal members dominate the team while
others disengage.