Page 77 - Fearless Leadership

64 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

The need to be right is much stronger than the need to be effective.

WHY WE LOATHE BEING SEEN AS WRONG
For many leaders, the very thought of being publicly wrong or making a
mistake implies a personal inadequacy. They become inflexible and stub-
born in protecting their point of view and attack anyone or anything that
is in their way. Leaders dig their heels in and make poor decisions to pro-
tect their public image and avoid losing face. The irony is they reap exactly
what they are attempting to avoid because they lose credibility.
Needing to be right is reinforced by a prevalent belief that leaders are
expected to have all the answers and that followers expect them to pro-
vide the solution. Do you need to have all the answers and be right? If
your response is yes, then you may be unconsciously adopting an “I’m
right–you’re wrong” attitude. When you need to be right, you willfully
impose your views on others—whether they want them or not—and turn
the words collaboration and teamwork into meaningless buzz terms.
Odd as it may seem, the need to be right is normal; human beings are
instinctively hardwired to protect themselves to survive at all costs. The
mind functions in survival mode in which there is never enough of any-
thing; therefore, we feel we must fight for everything. Our thinking is
shaped from this perspective, and we come from a condition of insuffi-
ciency—“I am not enough” or “I don’t have enough.” Our need to be right
results in competing with others and defending our point of view. Our
underlying belief—one person cannot gain unless another one loses—
sets up conflict from the start.
The need to be right increases when we experience stress, fear, and
high levels of uncertainty. We fear being wrong when our survival is at
stake, but we loathe being wrong when it makes us feel inadequate or
insufficient.
You can trust the fact that you have areas in which you have an arrested
point of view and have become fixed and rigid in your thinking. You may
not recognize where this has occurred, but others see it. When you have
a myopic outlook, you are left with no choice but to argue for your point
of view.