Page 85 - Fearless Leadership

72 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

others when their behavior is imperfect, but when it comes to our behav-
ior, we expect people to give us the benefit of the doubt and trust our
intention.

We judge others by their behavior but expect them to judge us by
our intention.

We often hear leaders defend their intention when their behavior is
damaging. They say things such as “I didn’t intend to hurt him” or “I was
just trying to help.” Your impact remains the same regardless of what you
intend. Although you may be trying to help someone, if that person feels
micromanaged, that’s all that matters. People don’t stop to consider your
intention; they judge you by your behavior in the same way you judge
them.
When you need to be right about your “intention,” it makes it impos-
sible for you to take accountability for your impact. This was what hap-
pened with Valdez, the director of exploration in a mining company. His
direct reports described him as “reacting with anger and not listening.”
When his team told him that his behavior caused them to stop talking,
he felt unjustly judged. Rather than listening to the group, Valdez became
defensive. The problem: he could not take accountability as long as he
was defending his intention.
We worked with Valdez and his group, and a lightbulb went on when
he saw that (1) no one was questioning his intention and (2) his intention
did not alter his impact. He took accountability for his impact and apol-
ogized to the group, and most importantly, he altered his behavior. Valdez
saw what we all must see: two domains exist simultaneously—positive
intention and negative impact.

Your positive intention does not alter your impact on others.

Where do you put your focus when others tell you how you land on
them? Do you focus on defending your intention—“I didn’t mean to do
that”—or do you listen and take accountability? Until you stop defending