Page 87 - Fearless Leadership

74 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

Many leaders feel that investigating other views or perspectives makes
them look bad; after all, they should have all the answers. If you are embar-
rassed by not knowing or by admitting you do not have all the answers,
it is difficult to investigate any other option. Beyond this, you will find it
impossible to dig yourself out of the hole of needing to be right. Asking
for help and input from others expands your view. Without it, you only
have one limited perspective: yours.
You must decide if you are going to play big or play small. If you are
unwilling to explore other options, examine different approaches, and lis-
ten to others to learn what they see that you do not, you are left being right
regardless of the consequences.

Engaging in Either-Or Thinking

Either-or thinking sets up an us-versus-them mentality. It keeps your think-
ing inside defined boundaries and barriers, and it limits the scope for solv-
ing problems. The smaller your frame of reference, the fewer the options.
Examples of either-or thinking are

• Either I win and they lose or they win and I lose.
• Either option A is right or option B is right.
• Either you are right or I am right.

When you fall into either-or thinking, your focus shifts to “who is right”
and “what is right.” An either-or belief, where two or more views are mutu-
ally exclusive, places you in the position of having to destroy your origi-
nal view in order to see another perspective. Explained another way: you
must be wrong in order to move to another perspective.
You lose the freedom to explore when decisions are reduced to “I have
to choose either this or that.” If you are faced with an either-or choice, ask
yourself, “Why do I have to choose inside this framework?” Why indeed.
You do not have to limit your thinking to a restricted framework. You can
create a third alternative called “both, and” where both options are valid,
and all options are acceptable. Shades of gray are desirable; they actually
help people move beyond black-and-white thinking and allow them to
connect and build on ideas. When you abandon rigid and limiting think-
ing, you can easily switch from one perspective to another.