Page 19 - The Power to Change Anything

8 INFLUENCER

new. We wouldn’t move from talking to carping and from offer-
ing incentives to making threats. Instead, we’d try something
new.
The fact that many of us don’t realize that it’s our duty to
become good at exerting influence causes us a great deal of
grief. Instead of owning up to our responsibility of becoming
effective agents of change and then going about the task of
improving our influence repertoire (much like an athlete run-
ning laps or a chess player learning moves), we grumble,
threaten, ridicule, and, more often than not, find ways to cope.

WE’RE BETTER AT COPING THAN AT EXERTING
INFLUENCE

People tend to be better copers than influencers. In fact, we’re
wonderful at inventing ways to cope. For instance, at work we
abandon our quality-control program and install full-time
inspectors. Nobody will listen. Instead of fixing lousy schools,
we complain to our friends and then backfill by tutoring our
children. It’s the best we can do. And when it comes to diet and
exercise, we own two or three different-sized wardrobes. It’s
impossible to stick to a diet.
Consider the following international example of coping.
Not long ago the world celebrated the birthday of one of the
smallest yet most successful organisms on the planet—a terri-
fying organism called HIV. A review of the proceedings of its
birthday party in Toronto—the 16th International AIDS
Conference—demonstrates our universal lack of confidence
that we can actually change what people do. Of the speeches,
classes, and activities that took place at that conference, over
90 percent dealt with how to cope with the effects of AIDS.
Of course, helping AIDS sufferers is essential. We should
spend time talking about how to reduce discrimination against
sufferers and how to dramatically increase access to medicines.
But it’s indicative of our collective sense of powerlessness that