Page 173 - Free Yourself From

156 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

Tips for Listening

1. Be curious and open to others’ views and perspectives.
2. Be patient. Avoid jumping in to be heard. Later on you might learn
you were coming from the wrong perspective, which could
discount your effectiveness.
3. Be a connecter. Build a bridge between diverse views and connect
the dots into a whole solution.
4. Observe others to see if they are engaged, understand what you
are saying, or are buying into it.
5. Don’t pretend you are listening. That is a good way to lose the
respect of others and even alienate them.
6. Listen with empathy and compassion so that you can detect the
feelings, spirit, and energy from others on a certain topic or issue.
7. Pay attention to context. What is the experience or situation behind a
person’s point of view? What are that person’s possible motives?
8. Paraphrase and summarize. Repeat what people say back to them
in your own words to convey that you are fully engaged in the
conversation and understand what they’re telling you.
9. Assume the best. Believe that everyone has a positive contribution
instead of ruling them out before hearing what they have to say. If
you approach them with a positive intent, even a “difficult conversa-
tion” can become an opportunity to explore positive solutions.

Guideline 3: Plan Your Message

Imagine you’re in a job interview or introducing an idea to an influ-
ential stakeholder or about to engage in a difficult conversation. The
person you are talking to suddenly says that he has three minutes