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Clarity Within Relationships

FIGURE 3.3 Tasks and relationships: a vicious circle?

Tasks

Relationships

Unemployed suburban teenagers who have just reached driving age
know all about vicious cycles. To get a car, they need money from a
job. To get a job, they need a car to get there. At fi rst glance, the prob-
lem seems unsolvable, but countless teens solve it every year. How? By
keeping both in balance and working on both simultaneously. Borrow
Mom’s car, work a few hours, beg or borrow a little family money, buy
a cheap car, get a steadier job, get a better car, and so on. With effort
and patience, even a “stuck,” or downward, spiral can be converted to
an upward one. The secret is to place your focus not on one element
or the other, but on maintaining balance between them both.
As you constantly balance output with stress, completion of a task is
sometimes most important; other times, relationships take precedence.
Is it more important to get your boss to clarify his policy further or
to give him the sense that you can be trusted to do what’s necessary
without asking questions? Is it better to mandate overtime so your
employees fi nish extra work this quarter or to allow them extra time
off to spend the holidays with family? Is it preferable to handle a
minor attendance issue with leniency or with strictness? The answer
is different every time, and the question must constantly be asked,
answered, and asked again.

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