Page 222 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

196 sexual - orientation microaggressions and heterosexism

of making them suspect. Interestingly, such denials can be contradicted via
nonverbal behaviors or a disruption of the straight person ’ s speech pattern.
Many people fumble when they even say the word lesbian or gay man. They just
can ’ t even get the words out of their mouths. . . . It would kill my boss to even
say the words sexual orientation. It ’ s like there ’ s a horrible taboo about the topic.
(Blank & Slipp, 1994, p. 142)

7. Endorsement of Heteronormative Culture and Behaviors — There is an

old saying: “ A fish in a lake does not realize that water is the necessary and
normal medium that is required for its survival. It is only when it is caught
and brought on land that the importance of water becomes crystal clear. ”

While water nurtures and allows fish to survive and thrive in a lake or ocean,
it may prove toxic to mammals that require a different medium for survival.
Heteronormative culture and behaviors not only nourish, support, and validate
a heterosexual lifestyle, but promote it as normative as well. It represents the
“ water ” for straights, necessary for survival, but invisible to them. To gays
and lesbians, however, heteronormative culture and behaviors may prove
toxic to their existence and survival; it invalidates their existence and identity,
oppresses, and dehumanizes, and it is highly visible to them.
In many respects, heteronormative culture and behaviors produce a climate
of normality and abnormality that may lie as the root cause for heterosexism
and the manifestation of most sexual - orientation microaggressions. There is
an expectation that everyone is heterosexual, and everyone should behave
in a manner consistent with the values, norms, and gender roles of our society.
The invisibility syndrome is a part of the power of a heteronormative society
(Greene, 2000). The standards and norms for behaviors are unintentionally
imposed upon LGBTs. Always asking men about girlfriends and women
about boyfriends, confining the definition of marriage to “ between a man and a

woman, ” having a family member tell an LGBT person “ Please don ’ t act so
gay in public, ” and in human sexuality courses covering only topics related
to sexual behavior among heterosexuals are all examples (Nadal et al., in
press; Sue & Capodilupo, 2008).
Because heteronormative culture and behavior are often outside the level
of conscious awareness of straights (invisible), they are likely to freely impose
these standards on LGBTs with devastating consequences. It is interesting that
LGBTs frequently use the words “ invisible ” and “ closeted ” to describe their
status or everyday existence (Blank & Slipp, 1994; Greene, 2000). “ Coming
out ” of the closet may have negative repercussions in their relationship with

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