Page 72 - Microaggressions in Everyday Live Race, Gender, and Sexual Orientation

46 the psychological dilemmas and dynamics of microaggressions

the shooting of Amadou Diallo? Do you know that every morning I rehearse with my
teenage son possible scenarios of the day? Do you know I frequently ask him, when
(not ‘ if ’ ) you are stopped by the police when driving, what will you do? Do you know
that I tell him he must be polite, say ‘ yes sir, no sir ’ when responding to questions,
not make any sudden moves, and to keep his hands in clear sight? Do you know that
on weekends, when he is going to hang out with friends at the shopping mall, I grill
and drill him with the same questions and advice about mall security guards? Do you
know that as a Black mother, I live in constant fear for the safety of my own son? Can
you truly understand what it is like to be Black in this society? ” As White parents,
this is not your reality, but it is mine!
These two examples suggest how the experiences of Whites and Blacks
differ from one another and how the experiences of discrimination are invis-
ible to White Americans. The possibility that race may affect interpersonal
interactions, for example, may be far removed from the consciousness of the
flight attendant. However, for the two passengers of color, race is a constant

factor in their experience and touches upon nearly all aspects of their lives.

Thus the issue is not whether the flight attendant was deliberately discrimi-
nating, but that her “ unawareness ” and “ obliviousness ” to race issues may
allow her to impose her worldview upon marginalized groups by deny-
ing another group ’ s experiential reality. The ability to impose a worldview
upon other groups who differ in their perspectives is based upon power.
In Chapter 1 , I refer to the fact that power is often correlated with economic
and military might, but that “ true ” power resides in the ability to defi ne
reality (Guthrie, 1998; Hanna, Talley, & Guindon, 2000; Keltner & Robinson,
1996). When a clash of racial realities occurs, it is highly likely that it is main-
stream groups that possess the tools (education, mass media, peers, and social

groups and institutions) to define and impose realities (racial as well) upon
other groups (Sue, 2004). When those in a majority culture believe that racism

is no longer a problem, when difficulties in race relations are due primarily to
people of color (blaming the victim), when people assume that all groups play
on a level field, when everyone is perceived to have an equal chance to succeed,

and when people of color are seen as being overly sensitive to slights, then it
makes sense that our well - intentioned flight attendant might not recognize her

potentially biased actions and the detrimental consequences they might have
on passengers of color.
We return to our earlier question about whose racial reality is the most
accurate: the flight attendant who truly believes in her innocence and feels

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