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212 Power Up Your Mind

THE FEELINGS OF CHANGE

Sometimes, change is thrust on us as a result of external factors.
You lose your job. Someone close to you dies. You become unwell.
For a while, you feel that things are out of your control—and there
is a real sense in which they are.
You may also decide to do things differently because you
have learned that there is a better way. You have overcome your
TEAMFLY
anxiety about public speaking and now actively seek to gain expe-
riences. Or, you realize that you have become unreasonably defen-
sive in your dealings with a certain colleague and resolve to adopt a
more open and accepting style of behaving.
In many situations, even if at first it appears that things are
beyond your influence, they are not. Not many external situations
appear totally out of the blue: you see them coming if you are pre-
pared to look. As an effective learner, it is essential that you can
learn to do things differently. Being able to move from learning
through reflection to deciding to change is a key element of using

your intelligence. A major element of this is learning to anticipate
and manage your feelings.
In almost all experiences of change, the feelings you have fol-
low a pattern, especially when the change you are contemplating
has been largely instigated, in your view, by external factors. Here
is a typical cycle of the feelings associated with change:

Grudging
awareness
Guarded Isolation
acceptance Denial
Reluctant Anger
experimentation
Willing
trial Acceptance Willing
Ownership acceptance

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Team-Fly