Page 123 - Reading Between the Sign Intercultural Communication for Sign Language Interpreters

108 Reading Between the Signs

with her mother (who is also Deaf). They do not hug, but greet
each other in a cool manner. After Gloria leaves, Jill’s mother
asks, “What’s wrong? Why didn’t you hug her?” Jill explains
that they have had a recent falling out. In another example,
Jim arrives at Laura’s party, where a group has already gath-
ered. He goes around hugging everyone hello but misses
Charles. Charles acts hurt and quizzes Jim, “Hey, why didn’t
you hug me?”
• There is a right moment for the hug—usually immediately
after the “Hi.” If something distracts one or both greeters at
that point, it becomes too late to hug; the moment has passed.
• Whom one hugs is also a variable, depending on the circum-
stances. The more foreign the environment, the more one hugs
someone who is not that close a friend. (Just as if you were
traveling in a foreign country and happened to bump into some-
one you barely knew at home, you might greet that person
very warmly at the sheer relief of seeing a familiar face and
finding someone with whom you could converse in English.)
At a large, all-Deaf event, one would only hug one’s closest
friends, but at a mostly hearing event, two Deaf acquaintances
would probably hug because their connection would assume
greater proportions set against a hearing backdrop.
• The parting hug seals the moment of farewell. It is an expres-
sion of closeness and closure, and it is almost mandatory at
social events. If one leaves in a hurry without hugging the
appropriate people, it is seen as very rude. At a party, one may
make several rounds of hugs. One may say good-bye to every-
one, hugging each person in turn and exchanging a few last
words. As often happens, however, one of these exchanges
turns into a longish conversation. When one is finally ready to
walk out the door, one has to again make the rounds with
perhaps a quicker set of hugs. This is one reason why leave-
taking in Deaf culture takes so long.
• Interpreters often feel uncomfortable when Deaf clients want
to give them a parting hug at the end of an assignment. In our
role as “professionals” we are not used to hugging our clients.
In American culture, for example, we do not usually hug our
accountant (unless he or she just saved us a lot of money).
Deaf hugs, on the other hand, convey a different message.
They may be the Deaf person’s way of saying “Thank you. I
felt you really understood me. I feel connected to you now.”

05 MINDESS PMKR 108 10/18/04, 12:00 PM