Page 70 - The Art and Science of Analog Circuit Design

Gregory T, A, Kovacs

grocery and my husband was astounded that the big box of Cap'n
Crunch cost $4.58. He considered it so expensive, he wanted to
put it back on the shelf.

In contrast, he tells me that $2,000 is a bargain for a 20-year-old, used
oscilloscope that only smokes a little bit and will only require one or two
weekends to fix up. And $1,000 is a great deal on a 'scope that doesn't
work at all, because it can be cannibalized for parts to repair the 'scopes
that smoke comes out of (assuming that it has enough parts left that never
smoked).
4. When an analog circuit designer brings home a new piece of
equipment, the S.O. becomes invisible for several hours.
I used to get jealous every time a new 'scope or signal generator came
into the house. He'd burst in the door all breathless and say, "Hi, Laurel,
look what I found today. Isn't she beautiful? I'm just going to take her
upstairs for a few minutes." The two would disappear into the lab and I'd
hear lots of cooing and giddy chatter that went on until daybreak. It was
as if my S.O. was bringing home his mistress and dashing up to our bed-
room right under my nose.
If the dog or I went into the room, he wouldn't even notice us. I could
tell him that beer had just been outlawed in the United States or the dog
could vomit on his shoes. He'd just say, "I'll be with you in a minute,"
and go back to grinning and twiddling the knobs of his new toy.
When you realize it's no use being jealous and that you'll never be
able to compete with these machines (unless you want to turn to the folks
at Tektronix for fashion advice and get some clothes in that particular
shade of blue, some 'scope knob earrings and some WD-40 cologne),
you can actually have some fun when your S.O. is in this condition. If
you like to watch TV, you've got the remote control to yourself for a few
hours. If you have friends that your S.O. can't stand, invite them over for
a party. If you're angry with your S.O. you can stand there and say nasty
things ("You solder-sucking slimeball!"), get all the anger out of your
system, and he'll remain totally oblivious. Be creative!
I was miserable before I learned that these basic differences and quirks
are characteristic of most analog circuit designers, not just my husband.
When I finally understood that they're simply a different species, my
bills for psychoanalysis decreased significantly.
There are a couple of other things that help, too. First, ask all of your
relatives to move to towns where there are used test equipment shops or
frequent swap meets. If you don't, you may never see them again. It took
six years for my husband to meet my Aunt Gertrude, but as soon as he
found out that Crazy Egbert's World of 'Scopes was only 12 miles from
her house, we were on an airplane—"Because I feel terrible that it has
taken me so long to meet your aunt"—within 24 hours.
And, when all else fails, you may have to resort to the spouse align-
ment unit (SAU). Mine is a wooden rolling pin (shown in Figure 5-5),

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