Page 158 - The extraordinary leader

Great Leaders Possess Multiple Strengths • 135

You proceed to run the children through a series of drills. On each drill,
you select the two or three children who were superior and two or three who
did not perform as well. After an hour of intensive drills, three-on-three “shoot-
outs,” and races, your roster becomes increasingly clear. Three of the children
are clearly not at the same level. They should be moved to a less competitive
league. Two additional children were close, but did not perform well on sev-
eral of the drills.
Now comes the tough part. You make out your team list. You gather the
children together in a huddle and thank them for their effort. You tell them
that you are proud of everyone and that it takes a lot of guts to try out for com-
petition soccer. You then read the names of the children who made the team.
Fifteen children are elated. Five of the children look quite dejected, though
they keep a “stiff upper lip.” Luckily, they have kind and supportive parents
who bolster their children. As you begin to gather the equipment and jerseys,
one of the children who was cut approaches you with a dejected look. This
was one of the two children who were close to making the team. She gets your
attention and says in a quivery voice, “Coach, why was I cut? What can I do
to play next year?” You desperately want to make this child feel better. You
look at your notes. There was one drill where the child’s name was jotted
down as superior but two other drills where the child did not perform well.
What’s the most constructive answer?
If you tell the child about what was done well, that makes her feel good,
but starts her wondering even more, “Why was I cut?” The typical recom-
mendation from most people on how best to approach this situation is to start
with the positive, but then help the child understand that your decision was
justified because of some failing on the child’s part. Many coaches would
describe the child’s performance on the two drills where her performance was
low. That will enable the child to understand that your decision was fair. A
good way to close the conversation would be to say something like, “You are
almost there, if you keep practicing I think that you will be playing competi-
tion soccer next year for sure.”
As the child walks away and takes that long drive home with her parents,
she will probably keep asking herself the question, “Why was I cut?” To which
she will answer, “Because I blew it on two drills.” In other words, failures come
because of mistakes. But what would have happened if this child had been
an extremely accurate kicker, or had been extremely good at playing goalie?
Would the mistakes on the two drills have been irrelevant?