Page 110 - An Indispensible Resource for Being a Credible Activist

The best way to use the list now is to simply help yourself identify how you are feeling in
any given moment and then try to relate that to any needs you have that either are being
met or that are not being met. Being able to clearly identify your feelings and needs is the
first step to self-awareness in emotional intelligence as well as a very helpful skill to have
when communicating at work and during any conflict resolution situations.
In order to hone your EI skills, you will need to be aware of and improve each of the
following:

Self-regard. Check in with yourself to see how you feel in this work environment,
if you’ve always felt this way in this work environment, and if you think there is
any hope for you to feel valued, respected, included, and to be welcomed to share
company power in this company at this time or in the near future.
Emotional self-awareness. Check in with yourself to measure what you feel about yourself,
your actions taken thus far, those with whom you must deal at work,
your supervisor, any colleagues, and other aspects of your life.
Assertiveness. Assess your comfort level as to whether you feel safe and comfortable
enough in order to assertively communicate what you feel certain of and feel strongly
about, verbally or via carefully worded memos.
Independence. Check in with yourself to measure whether you feel independent in this
situation or completely alone. You will need support as you endure this kind of
marginalization, and you will be able to cope better if you have a clear awareness
of how you are experiencing these dynamics.
Self-actualization. Check in with yourself to ascertain what your goals for yourself in your
life at this time and in the long term are. Our goals for our lives do change, and this
kind of situation is one during which you will fare better if you are clear on your
goals. You may be very close to retirement and not feel safe risking anything
at work at this time. You may be considering moving to another state and have the
support of your spouse or partner, which may give you courage you would not
otherwise have. You may realize that you would rather work in another form of HR,
another company, or another industry or field altogether. You may wish to remain in
this job, but you should still address these issues as much as you possibly can. Your
goal may even be to internally or externally blow the whistle on your company
regardless of the outcome. “Winning” looks like something different to every person.
Know what “winning” means to you right now in this situation.
Empathy. Do your best to be aware of how others are experiencing you, especially if you
are having a difficult and stressful time, which you very likely are. You will need to
make efforts to get the support you need in whatever ways available to you so that
you will still be able to be concerned with employees’ needs for your assistance.
Social responsibility. Be aware of how much of yourself you have in reserve to give while
you are going through a difficult and stressful time. This awareness will prevent you
from promising anything you are not able to deliver, with ease and without causing
more stress in your life.
Interpersonal relationship skills. Manage these very carefully. Tension at work may be
subtle or unbearable. Do your best to put your best face on when at work. Do what
you can to manage your time and work with as little stress as possible.

CHAPTER 7 • Dealing with Inconsistent Application of P olicies 93