Page 137 - The Voice of Authority

Probing, clarifying, or confirming as if you care:

“So tell me your next step.”
“When do you think that you’ll . . . ?”
“What do you think caused her to do that?”
“Why do you think he set that policy?”
“So you feel that you really made the best decision
under the circumstances, right?”
“So what would you like to see happen in the next few
years?”
“In what ways do you think a mentor would help pre-
pare you for promotion?”
“What kind of outcomes do you think would be in
your best interest in a situation like that?”

The following are not empathic comments—no matter
how many times you’ve heard them around the water-
cooler:

“It could be worse.”
“Looks like you’ll just have to tough it out.”
“You think you’ve got it bad—you should hear what
we went through last year.”
“This may be a bless-
ing in disguise.”

One of the best ways to
Listening means focusing
on the other person with persuade others is with
sincere, not just polite, in- your ears—by listening
terest—not just waiting to them.
your turn to talk. —Dean Rusk

Are You Concerned and Connected? 125