Page 137 - White Lives The Interplay of 'Race', Class, and Gender in Everyday Life

130 In search of a ‘good mix’
‘simple as that’. Nonetheless, they all coalesced in Teresa’s mind to represent
what she was worried about. While Teresa, like the others discussed in this
chapter, was not keen to have her son pressurised academically at school, she
was also looking for a sense of moral order and control in the school, as we
saw in an earlier quote where she emphasised the ‘very strong moral code’
that existed in her own primary school. This order may be threatened by the
visible presence, or too great visible presence, of cultural and racial others.
Thus, while Teresa espoused multiculturalism, she also feared the over-
dominance of racial and cultural others. It would seem that the presence of
cultural or racial others undermined her desire for a ‘strong moral’ upbring-
ing for her children. Thus, for Teresa, multiculturalism had its limits. She
wanted her children to be exposed to other cultures – for instance in learn-
ing about other religious holidays – just as long as (white) Christian influence
remained dominant. A fear of the unknown was suggested in the following
anecdote told about a friend. Neither ‘race’ nor class was mentioned explic-
itly, but could be interpreted as providing the underlying framework for the
story:

I had a friend over yesterday, and she works full-time and her 4 year
old... she had no idea who she’s met, who she plays with at school, a
state school at Waterloo, and it was her birthday and so she said, you
know, tell me, write down the names and I’ll send them invitations, and
you know, she had this party in the park, and she had no idea who’s
going to turn up [laugh]. But she said they were great.
(Interview 18, emphasis mine)

Guess who’s coming for tea, Mummy
One issue that played a greater role in other interviews, but was less rel-
evant to the Clapham group as their children were younger, was that of
after-school activities. During the fieldwork, I occasionally arranged to meet
interviewees or be introduced to other mothers at the school gate. This was
a good time to be introduced to mothers, as women would chat while wait-
ing for their children and make the sometimes complex arrangements for
what I ended up calling the ‘going home for tea scene’. This social practice
is structured by material factors such as availability of resources that makes
having other children over to play easy – such as space, transport, provision
of the ‘tea’. These issues play an important role because reciprocity is a key
reason for entering into the arrangement. The practice is also structured by
questions of cultural capital – in terms of children knowing how to ‘behave
themselves’ appropriately, play in the desired manner and eat appropriately,
all of which are also classed and may also be raced. The arrangements also
tend to be made between parents who are friends or at least already know
each other. It became clear that this was a highly classed and raced activity.