Page 143 - White Lives The Interplay of 'Race', Class, and Gender in Everyday Life

136 In search of a ‘good mix’
to produce ambiguities in the mothers’ responses. She admired the audacity,
but wished that it was not expressed in such a ‘tacky’ (working-class) way.
She appreciated confidence and a willingness to stand out, but not the ways
in which it was directed.

Conclusion

This chapter has examined a range of mothering practices that were of
particular concern to the women I interviewed. They fit into a whole set
of everyday activities that mothers undertake with their children and in-
volve the reiteration of classed, raced and gendered norms. Motherhood is
a unique combination of mundane, repetitive tasks (or ‘drudgery’ according
to one interviewee); the performance of a particular gendered, racialised
and classed self; and the construction of a context for the development of
one’s child’s or children’s selves. It is a place where the everyday and the
imaginary are intertwined.
The women I interviewed entered a new life on becoming mothers, and
they reflected in the interviews on some of the aspects of this change, of
changes in perspective and priority, and on the development of different
personality characteristics (such as ‘patience’). They also discussed how they
wanted to create a ‘secure’ and ‘stable’ environment that would enable their
children to develop freely. These concerns constructed a particular model of
motherhood and of childhood. The constructions were classed, raced and
gendered. The ‘sensitive’ mother was caring and protective, but also open
to her child’s sensibilities and keen to develop any ‘gifts’ that she displayed.
The mothers were not, however, advocating an unstructured or uncontrolled
environment for their children. They wanted them to grow in certain ways,
with certain values, abilities and attitudes. They wanted them to develop
normative gendered, raced and classed positions, and it was these concerns
that contributed to their anxieties about schooling for their children.
While discussions about their own friendship groups had focused largely
on microlevel differences between themselves and other middle-class
women who were, for various reasons, not ‘like minded’, macrolevel ques-
tions of ‘race’ and class came to the fore in considering local schools. The
‘right’ friends for the mothers were ensured by going to the right places and
through minute processes of sizing each other up, and encounters where the
possibility of friendship could be tentatively explored. Mistakes might be
made. After an initial meeting, one might decide one had ‘nothing in com-
mon’ with the other person, or discover that they were too conservative or
narrow-minded for one’s liking. But little was lost in this process.
The stakes are much higher with respect to children’s schooling. The
choice of school could play a large part in determining a child’s future and,
perhaps for the first time, a mother was giving up control of a large part
of her child’s day. A child’s social, moral and academic framework, their
stability and security as well as their attainment of certain raced and classed