Page 144 - Leadership Secrets of Hillary Clinton

MAKING YOUR WORDS COUNT

• Be patient and avoid interrupting. Let the person
complete his thought before you respond. Remember
to “bite your tongue,” as my mother would always
tell me.
• Watch the nonverbals and know that if they are not
matching the verbals, there is probably a disconnect
between what the person is saying and what she really
thinks or feels.
• Listen with empathy. It’s important that you be able
to feel both the joy and the pain.

x SECRET 5: DON’T AVOID z
THE HARD CONVERSATIONS

I once heard that the definition of a difficult conversation is
anything that’s hard to talk about. Some things come to my
mind immediately: a performance review with someone
who is performing poorly, a neighbor’s dog who barks con-
stantly at 2 a.m., or the decision that your boss made that
you feel is totally wrong. There are many conversations like
these that we avoid, either because we fear the response and
repercussions or because we are afraid that we will make
someone feel bad. Most leaders I know would rather tackle
more hard work or solve more impossible problems than
have these conversations. However, resilient leaders must
have them. And, in the process, they must have the courage
to speak the truth.

x 133 z