Page 145 - Leadership Secrets of Hillary Clinton

LEADERSHIP SECRETS OF HILLARY CLINTON

Now, I know that this is easier to say than to do, since
what stops us is not our ability, but our fears. So, let’s look
at what you can do to minimize the fear and encourage
yourself to initiate a hard conversation. First, do your
homework. Learn as much as you can about the situation.
Check the facts, and don’t rely on someone’s opinion. Try
to get a variety of perspectives. And be clear with yourself
about what you really want the result of the conversation
to be. Hillary is known for doing this, as I mentioned in
Chapter 3. She is naturally curious and has learned to be
well prepared.
But, also recognize that what you learn about the situation
is only your side of the story. In the difficult conversation, you
want to learn the other person’s side of the story as well,
because the truth probably resides in a combination of both
stories. Your active listening skills will help you to do this.
Second, do your best to suspend your judgment. When
you approach someone and you are in the mindset of
right/wrong, good/bad, or should/shouldn’t, you will inad-
vertently transmit a threat to that person, and he will natu-
rally become defensive. That’s just how it works. So, as I’ve
said before, replace this judgment mindset with curiosity,
and you will be less likely to get the “fight-or-flight”
response from the other person. As a result, the issue will
be easier for both of you to discuss.
And finally, it is better to have conversations of this
kind sooner rather than later. I can’t tell you how many

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