Page 94 - Roy W. Rice - CEO Material How to Be a Leader in Any Organization-McGraw-Hill (2009)

You Feel Broadly Adequate • 75

Hug yourself every once in a while.

Expect acceptance from the general public as a broadly adequate
individual. This is all that confident people do. Valid imagination in man-
aging where you want to be and how you want people to see you is more
important than any supposed reality to the contrary.

We spend most of our lives being afraid of other people or of how we
are perceived by other people. I wish I had realized sooner that
other people spend most of their time being afraid of me or of how I
perceive them.

On average, you have 50,000 thoughts a day. It takes intense con-
centration and persistence to manage them. Thomas Crook, president of
Psychologix, discovered that after 35 years of age, on average, we lose 1
percent of our brain volume a year (and that doesn’t account for the lost
brain cells from extracurricular activities!). Better make sure that the part
that remains is well managed and that attitude atrophy doesn’t set in as
well—so tell your brain what it needs to be told.
When self-doubt, fear, anxiety, hesitation, trepidation, and dread
slip in (or get pounded in), go back to your list and strong mind-set that
you are equal, able, qualified, trained, and sufficient to manage whatever
you’re in—as much as most anyone else. You’re broadly adequate.
People look at you and see what you think of yourself (which is
based on what you tell yourself), and they treat you accordingly. We know
this, but still we give ourselves too much substance abuse of negative self-
talk, putting toxic waste feelings of being unfit, incapable, or incompe-
tent in our brains. Stop it!

The big differentiation is the midlevel person who really believes he
is in control of his destiny. It comes across in how he will speak to
me. He’ll say, “Here’s a problem, and here are the two or three
things I’m going to do to mitigate it.” . . . Five percent who work for
me are solution-oriented; 95 percent seek direction, support, and
affirmation.

You are your first opponent in life. Well-intentioned training, school-
ing, and socializing from bosses, teachers, and parents often result in feelings