Page 205 - Confronting Race Women and Indians on the Frontier, 1815 - 1915
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FRONTIER P L A C E : G E N D E R M A TTE R S
native women. White and Indian women shared interests in home,
f a mily, children, and domestic matters, and espoused beliefs that crossed
cultures, including being nurturing and supportive, which created a
connection largely unavailable to white and Indian men.
Consequently, white women seemed earnest when they spoke of
Indian women as f r iends. When a white woman said "She-wicket was
my best f r iend," the statement carried a ring of veracity. 156 As far as it is
possible to judge fr om mute documents, which are incapable of reveal
ing tone, inflection, or f a cial expressions, these women seemed to be
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sincere. Granted, women like Ward or o gdes may have been aware of
the shock value as they wrote their f r iends about their willingness to
share space with an authentic "savage" companion, but most of these
women appeared truthful. One even said she was glad to see Indians
arrive and sorry to see them leave. "We have parted with white f o lks
that we did not regret so much," she insisted. 157
White men lacked opportunities available to women. Although
men visited native camps and villages, they joined the "braves" and
"chiefs" at the fire to smoke the pipe, to talk about land and politics,
and to negotiate trades. They were often treated to meals prepared by
the women, and sometimes were expected to admire the children, but
men were not welcomed into Indians' homes and f a milies as women
were. Other situations that existed f o r women were unthinkable f o r
men. It is unlikely, fo r example, that a native man would call on a set
tler, telling him that he thought the white man "might be lonely." And
it is ridiculous to picture a male settler partially disrobing so that his
new Indian fr iends could see his intimate apparel. Instead, males helped
each other with weapons, stock, hunting, fighting, and similar activities
that only infrequently resulted in the mutuality and confidentiality that
women so easily shared.
W o men not only visited Indians, but regularly attended Indian
dances and ceremonies, including cries (mourning ceremonies), wed
dings, fu nerals, beef issues (distribution of government rations), stomp
dances, war dances, and mock battles. The more generous and sympa
thetic among them regarded weddings, cries, and f u nerals as times f o r
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respect and empathy.l 8 But white women were more reserved about
other ceremonies, which often allowed Indians to behave in ways that
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