Page 78 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

Dialogue and Appreciation—Engaged Employees
Lecture 23

To lead an effective life, we not only need to create and sustain positive
relationships with friends and loved ones, but we also need to create
them at work. And it turns out that the better we do that, the more
productive, happy, and stress-free we are.

hen we can’t create or sustain positive relationships at work, we
become disengaged—we lose energy, spirit, and interest. So we
Wwalk through our daily work giving a mere fraction of what we
are capable of, just the minimum to get through the day. In studies, about
three-quarters of people felt this kind of disengagement. When highly
enthusiastic responders were asked why they were so gung-ho, and everyone
else was asked what it would take to motivate them to try harder, both groups
Lecture 23: Dialogue and Appreciation—Engaged Employees
said the same thing. Let’s try to learn from their feedback.
Enthusiasm came out of three elements. (1) A sense of equity—people were
motivated by a sense of being treated fairly by the organization, being paid a
fair wage, and not being threatened with job loss every time the organization
decided to cut costs. (2) A sense of achievement—people were enthusiastic
when they were able to do their best work and make a difference and when
they belonged to an organization in which they could personally take pride.
(3) A sense of camaraderie—employees were most enthusiastic when they
could work collaboratively with others in a workplace free of threat and
suspicion. Although they got pleasure from associating with others socially,
their greatest satisfaction came from interacting with others on a team in
pursuit of a common performance goal.

When employees don’t get along with each other, or their managers,
engagement falls and stress rises. Appreciative dialogue talk can help
employees deal with problems more effectively and sustain their positive
connection with themselves and their work. Both employees and managers
need to practice replacing control talk with appreciative dialogue. They
also must practice calming themselves in order to remain connected in
dif¿ cult moments.

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