Page 82 - Effective Communication Skills by Dalton Kehoe

ethical choice about leading
a better life. When we calm
our minds, we can become
truly mindful of the other
and feel a sense of human
connection. We accept the
person we’re talking to
for who he or she is rather
than wishing, wanting, or
demanding that this person
be different. We also reject
the critical judgment with
which control talk begins
and sidestep our knee-jerk
need to be and feel right in
dif¿ cult situations.

Accepting the present © David Sacks/Lifesize/Thinkstock.
Lecture 24: Dialogue—Ethical Choices behind Our Talk
reality pulls us out of
judgment and reduces the
hard emotions inside of us.
This allows us a chance Appreciative dialogue talk leads to true
to breathe deeply for a understanding and a more harmonious world
for all of us.
moment, let go of feelings
of threat to our self, and
discover our freedom to choose another way to look at the situation—
appreciatively. When we shift to the appreciative mind-set, we are committed
to fully understanding what’s going on in the here and now, to valuing and
honoring the other, and to improving the situation for everyone involved by
using dialogue talk.

Using appreciative dialogue talk in a dif¿cult situation positively changes the
way we are in the world and the world is in us. We commit to be open, equal,
and nonjudgmental in our talk so as not to impose our views on the other.
We honor and value the other’s existence by only talking about what we see,
hear, and feel—and not about what the other ought to see, hear, and feel. We
commit to staying in and with the present moment, despite the memories of

74