Page 172 - Effective Communication Skills Mastery Bible 4 Books in 1 Boxset by Tuhovsky, Ian

exchange of thoughts made me realize very quickly who I’m

dealing with and how to talk to him to get him motivated to

overcome his problems.

Remember that before you start referring to a metaphor, it is

worth it to have a good rapport with your conversation partner.

The strategy of referring to metaphors used in everyday

conversation is very simple and consists of two stages:

1. Specification of a metaphor.

2. Searching for solutions.

In both stages, you move only on the surface of the

metaphor, not going into the details of what the particular

analogy means for the person you are talking with.

To explain it better, let me tell you about a case described by

Sue Knight in her book, NLP at Work. She worked with this

company where the CEOs would often use these expressions

in conversations between themselves:

“I was taking heavy fire…”

“To attack the competition…”

“Aim at the right spot…”

This way of perceiving their business wasn’t a beneficial

cognitive scheme in this instance. Instead of focusing on how

to improve their company, these CEOs were focusing on their

“enemies” and the “war” they believed they led. They were

wasting their energy on the constant preparation for the “fight”

instead of putting their focus on finding new, creative ways to
make their business stand out.