Page 236 - Fearless Leadership

Aligning Emotionally and Intellectually 223

Our need to belong and be accepted is so gripping that it either forces
conformity and agreement, or it expels those who do not fit in. In primi-
tive times, people who were expelled by the tribe were sent into the wilder-
ness where they had to fend for themselves. In modern times, many
companies neutralize or isolate people who do not fit in.
For example, Trevor, a senior vice president on the senior team, was rec-
ognized by his peers as being exceptionally bright and innovative. Off-line
Trevor was a strong proponent of new and more effective approaches for
solving organizational problems. But during senior team meetings with the
CEO, he stepped cautiously and would not present ideas or endorse oth-
ers unless he was absolutely certain the CEO would find them acceptable.
As a result, many innovations went by the wayside while Trevor complied
with the CEO’s preference. But complying comes with a cost. The sen-
ior team and organization did not get the benefit of Trevor’s full talent and
expertise. The CEO did not get straight talk from Trevor and was unable
to incorporate Trevor’s ideas into his decisions. And Trevor’s peers did not
trust him to speak up and be forthright in meetings.
As a fearless leader you must continually examine how you relate to
decisions to determine if you are complying or aligning. Complying is an
automatic behavior where we give in to the circumstances and allow oth-
ers or the situation to dictate our behavior. We go along with a decision
but our heart is not really in it, and we feel trapped and resigned. To para-
phrase Viktor Frankl: there is a space between stimulus and response
where you have a choice. When you raise your level of awareness and rec-
ognize when you are withholding your full support of a decision, you have
a choice. You can choose to stop the automatic behavior of complying and
emotionally commit, or responsibly communicate that you are not aligned.
Throughout this chapter, ask yourself this question:

“Where am I complying instead of making the choice to authenti-
cally align?”
Complying may appear to be efficient, but it is not. It is used to avoid
what most believe is a rocky road to achieve real alignment. One leader
explained it this way: “I don’t have time to fight every battle. When the
decision is not important to me, I go along with the group. I don’t go out
on the skinny branches alone unless the decision impacts my group