Page 95 - Fearless Leadership

82 FEARLESS LEADERSHIP

1. People work around you and not with you.
2. People abdicate accountability and let you do all the thinking.
3. Problems are not resolved effectively.
4. You lose the ability to adapt and recover quickly.

People Work around You, Not with You

People will not expend the enormous amount of energy required to go toe
to toe with someone who is argumentative and unyielding. They do not
want to waste their time, or more importantly, their energy in a no-win
situation. If you already have a fixed view—and you look for what’s wrong
in other perspectives—people will avoid working with you. If you are in
a higher-status position, others will not confront you because you hold all
the power. Even though you may say, “I like strong people who challenge
me,” your behavior says, “You’re target practice for me.” People will
believe your behavior before they trust your words.
Those who must work with you will run for cover and pull back the
moment you come out with guns blazing. After experiencing your reac-
tion and anger, people choose the most expedient and comfortable route,
which is to work around you. They comply and give you lip service instead
of having to go through one more conversation that leaves them drained.

People Abdicate Accountability and Let You Do
All the Thinking
Others stop making decisions and contributing when you demonstrate the
need to be right. They stop thinking and shut down conversations and
options. When you are inside your automatic listening loop and search-
ing for evidence to prove your point, you literally cannot hear what oth-
ers are saying, and they know it. People do not have the skills to break the
cycle so they don’t try to change your mind. They let you do all the think-
ing since you’re doing it anyway. Your mind takes the place of the group
mind, and the message is, “Do not question or doubt me; just do as I say.”
When you operate with an “I’m right” attitude, you are saying, “You’re
wrong.” You are also communicating that you trust your thinking over
the collective wisdom of the group. Even though you may have a great
mind—perhaps a brilliant mind—it is still only one mind with its built-