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Cross-cultural communication in intimate relationships 351

In her analysis of 60 personal ads placed by men on the “Filipinaheart” site in
early 2004, Mooring (2004a) also found – on the basis of their demographic de-
tails which form part of a check-list on this site, as they do on most – that the
majority of these advertisers (75%) were 36 years or older (up to 65). Most were
Christians (only 22% identified as “Other”, “No Religion”, “Buddhist” or “Jew-
ish”, in this order). In their open-ended self-descriptions the most frequently
occurring attributes, in descending order, were: “attractive/good looking”,
“honest”, “financially secure/successful”, “great sense of humor”, “loving”,
“caring”, “romantic”, “family-oriented”, “religious/god-fearing”, “fun-loving”,
“understanding”, “simple”, “faithful”, and “open-minded”. The composite pic-
ture produced from those 60 ads is one of a traditional head-of-the-family,
breadwinner husband-and-father. This is also the image espoused in the market-
ing statements of the websites themselves. The following is an example:

This site caters to the classical American gentlemen. Men who understand that man
and women are different, and someone a lot smarter than us made us different for
very good reasons. What you are looking for is someone 100% loyal and who fulfills
all the other roles a traditional wife fills. What I found is that women from the Phil-
ippines meet that criteria and are more compatible with American gentlemen than
American women. […] I’ve seen an understanding of the social order from Philip-
pine people I’ve not seen in any American younger than 60 to 70 years old. What this
means is the Philippine people teach social and family skills that Americans
have abandoned. But not all Americans. There are still plenty of American men
who appreciate and desire those skills and understanding. 12

Western women

The above quotation also mentions that American women lack compatibility
with American men. Negative representations of Western women are pervasive
on these websites and their frequency testifies to the fact that the writers see en-
dogamy as the norm, and feel they need to justify their search for a foreign
partner (see above). Western women are represented as “liberated” (which is al-
ways used in quotation marks), selfish, aggressive, and materialistic. Statements
such as this one abound:

I know many of you are tired of the US or Canadian singles scene like I was. You
know … insincere girls who like to play games or expect constant material gifts. But
these Asian ladies are honest, faithful, rarely lose their figures as they age, are ex-
tremely supportive, and care more about your heart than your wallet. For them, nice
guys finish first! I know that is a new concept to many who are reading this … I know
it was for me. Don’t settle for a demanding and unappreciative woman. The age of
the internet has opened up a whole new world of opportunity. It’s time you meet the
woman you truly deserve! Life is too short to settle for a “6” when you can have a
“10”! 13