Page 173 - The Power to Change Anything

162 INFLUENCER

what to do with his arms because he’s so uncomfortable. And
it’s the best thing in the world.”
So what’s going on here? Silbert knows how to gain an
upper hand over her number-one enemy. Previously enacted
illegal, immoral, and antisocial behavior required a strong
social system to support it. Criminals run in packs. The dis-
tinctly different and healthy behavior that Delancey will
demand of each new resident will require an equally strong
social system. So that’s precisely what Silbert serves up.
Delancey immerses residents in nothing short of a whole new
culture composed of healthy expectations.
This means that from day one residents are hit by an un-
relenting wave of praise and punishment. Remember, one of
Delancey’s vital behaviors calls for everyone to challenge every-
one—and residents do. Silbert has gone to great pains to struc-
ture positive and negative peer feedback into everyday life. And
since frequent and crystal-clear feedback comes from people
who have lived the same life, it’s hard for new residents to dis-
miss the data.
Part of Delancey’s enormous force for change stems from
the fact that there are 20–30 formal and informal leaders who
know everything that’s going on with each resident. “If your
mom died,” says Delancey resident James, “others learn about
it and all are saying, ‘Are you okay?’ We’re all checking on each
other all the time. If we don’t watch out for each other in all
regards, we’ll go down.”
Powered by an incessant wave of positive and negative feed-
back from people who matter a great deal to them, Delancey
residents find that change is the path of least resistance. That’s
why 90 percent of those who graduate from Silbert’s commu-
nity stick with the changes they’ve made for the rest of their
lives.
And yet it would be easy to escape the tendrils of the
new culture. All the ex-cons need to do is walk out the door.
There’s nothing to stop anyone from exiting; the locks keep