Page 103 - Free Yourself From

86 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone—Face Your

Fears and Walk Through Them

There are people who love change and thrive on it. But they aren’t
most people. The majority of us prefer to not have to deal with change
and put it off as long as we can. After all, it carries uncertainty and
uncertainty usually carries risk. Risk aversion is a very natural instinct.
So it’s no surprise that men and women can become very skilled at jus-
tifying why they remain in a particular job.
But women have a particular vulnerability that drives our loy-
alty too far and that’s the caregiver factor. As wives heading house-
holds, mothers raising children, or daughters caring for aging parents,
women often feel guilty about asking what they believe is too much
from their bosses—flexible hours, family leave, the ability to telecom-
mute. Some even feel guilty for actually using all their vacation time
each year. These women can feel that, because a boss has been “so
great,” they owe it to their employer to stick around and be loyal. Or
they fear that at a new company, where they haven’t yet proven them-
selves, they will have less latitude to preserve the fragile work-life
balance they’ve built.
The problem is that if you stay in one job, sooner or later, per-
sonal growth stalls and frustration, stress, self-doubt, and loss of self-
esteem creep in. This is the worst-case scenario: Women come to
realize they need a change, but in a way that leaves them feeling vul-
nerable. As a result, achieving change seems like a Herculean and
incredibly fraught task.
I think it might be valuable to remind these change-averse care-
givers that the bottom line always drives decisions. Employers hold on
to and hire the people who can bring the greatest value and perspec-
tive to their mission. If they let you have an extra long leave, a com-
pressed workweek, or a flexible schedule, it wasn’t just to be nice and