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104 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

Strategic versus Personal Relationships

What’s the difference between strategic and personal relationships?
Personal relationships are anchored in the emotional ties you have
to family and friends. They’re grounded in the personal experiences
and interests you share with those people and are less about your
work. When I think about strategic relationships, I focus on build-
ing relationships with a specific purpose or goal in mind. Strategic
relationships can run as long and deep as your personal ones but are
usually more narrowly focused.
Being strategic means making active decisions about which pos-
sible new relationships you would like to cultivate at any given time
based on the career or business goals you are trying to achieve. Some
will last for years while others might come and go.
For example, say you’re an executive moving to a new house and
you know you want to make it the best space possible for a home
office as well as for entertaining clients and colleagues. Should you
happen to meet an interior designer at a cocktail party, you would
probably take her card—not because you think you’ll develop a 20-
year relationship with her, but because she might be able to offer valu-
able advice or referrals or services to you over the next few months.
On the other hand, an entrepreneur might have ongoing rela-
tionships with the CFO of her former employer who advises her on
the financial issues she occasionally faces, a former classmate who is
in human resources and advises her on hiring and training issues,
and a circle of local entrepreneurs in complimentary businesses who
commiserate with one another and refer clients back and forth.
In the corporate world, good relationships will allow you to learn
more about what’s going on in other parts of your company or indus-
try. They can help you to influence others, align your goals with
those of the organization’s, and feed the internal radar you need to
not be caught off guard by significant changes or developments that
might be afoot.