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132 It’s Not a Glass Ceiling, It’s a Sticky Floor

Collectively these things tell you who in a particular situation has
influence, who has credibility and clout, who has visibility, who is val-
ued, and who is in a position of strength. They can also tell you who
stands to win or lose in a situation and how that will determine their
likely behavior based on their position, gender, age, etc.

Become Fluent in Nonverbal Cues

People often keep their most telling thoughts to themselves, especially
when delivering criticism or bad news to a colleague or boss, or when
they think their words won’t have a meaningful impact. This is why
it’s important to learn to read nonverbal cues—body language—and
meaningful silences that can be the first sign a situation is going
wrong, or at least not as you planned.
Consider a woman I was coaching a few years ago who came to me
with a situation at work that was troubling her, although she couldn’t
figure out why.
In a recent team meeting, she had to explain an upcoming project
to her team. She shared that she had spent all weekend putting it
together. She also explained that she knew it had an aggressive
timetable that would require long hours, and then she asked for feed-
back. At first the room was pretty silent, she related. People eventu-
ally asked a few questions and mentioned a few conflicts with other
deadlines but didn’t raise as many issues or push back the way she
thought they would. She decided she’d worried too much about get-
ting their support. Afterward, no one said much to her about the pro-
ject, but she noticed that one of the folks carrying the heaviest load on
it had taken to eating at his desk rather than joining the group, so she
assumed that this was why she wasn’t getting updates on it the way
she did with other projects.
One day she stopped by his desk to ask if he was having any prob-
lems and he said, “You don’t see me complaining, do you?” So, she